I have heartburn more often than not, which is supposedly pretty common for a woman growing another person. In fact, I think Baby Blarney is going to be born with dreadlocks, as heartburn is supposed to indicate hair growth. Of course, this comes from the same information sources that claim parenthood will bring this glowing sense of contentment and fulfillment. Riiight.
This weekend I was decidedly uncomfortable and decided that there was a chance that I was having pre-term labor. I brought the list of symptoms up to Husby, who patiently went through each line item.
1. Pressure? Check.
2. Discomfort? Double check.
3. Increased back pain? Well, now that you mention it, yeah...
4. Grouchy? How did you know??
5. Vague sense that something is wrong? Wow, now you're reading my mind!
I've mentioned that Husby is a smart man, and this time he said "Honey, you ALWAYS have a vague sense that something is wrong." Ooooh. Yeah, you're right. I do.
Examples:
-Even though the political polls (and, lets be honest, all of popular media) are hopeful and encouraging that Obama is going to win, I am still queasy at the thought of another McIdiot as president.
-Even though I have no proof that the coffee pot is a renegade that will turn on us and burn down the house if I don't check on it, I'm still suspicious and watchful. Ditto the dishwasher, clothes dryer, any plug in air fresheners, and random arsonists. Don't EVEN get me started on the curling iron, which I rarely use due to my total lack of trust that it will turn off even if unplugged and put into the sink.
-Even though I've only been rear ended once in my life, I still frown and shake my finger at all drivers that come up behind me too fast.
-(this is the funny one) I worried, when completing my paperwork to turn in for my final graduation authorization, that the words were going to fall off the page with the required signatures on it, and that I would have to wait until December to apply for a professional counselor license.
So, my persistent heartburn could be related to my newest child having a mohawk, or it could be due to my subconscious belief that something really bad is about to happen. Either way, I'm hoping I remembered to check on the coffee pot one last time before leaving the house this morning.
1 comment:
I'll have to ask my mom about the connection between a hairy child and heart burn, because I was hairy little bugger. Not only did I have a full head of thick, black hair. It ran down my back almost to a tail. I've always suspected that I'm not really of this world.
Anyhoo...
I have also always been vaguely suspicious of our appliances. They're just a bit too quiet and compliant. I actually unplug them when not in use.
And in the dark, when I get up to do my man-of-the-cave patrol, I can't escape the feeling that they are watching me.
FYI to those inclined to fit me for a straight jacket: I'ma 36 Regular.
Post a Comment