If you can't say something nice...

Then come sit next to me.

I will readily admit that I'm a "glass half empty" person. Optimism is just not my strong suit, my style, or my default posture. I'm a grouch, a scrooge, a Negative Nancy. (I also answer to "Sally Sensitive", but that is a different conversation for a different time.)

This is not to say that I'm horribly negative, really it isn't. I'm actually quite fun to be around, especially if there is wine or chocolate. And there are times when I get tired of listening to myself complain and make a real effort to join the "sunny side up" people.

The problem with those shiny-happy bastards is the subtle, yet quite tangible, insistence that they are better people than those of us with a slightly darker temperament. There is a smugness associated with optimism. We are encouraged to stay positive, look on the bright side, see the good in everything. The implication is that a positive outlook is right and good, while the sourpuss perception is lazy and undisciplined. It's easy to see the bad stuff, they say. The hard part is to look beyond it and see the good in everything. And then they bask in their own goodness of scoring higher on some imagined scale, and pat themselves on the back for being such a great person.

The Negative Nancies will say that we are just being realistic, which isn't exactly accurate either. Realistically, good things happen just as frequently as annoying things. The problem, as always, is perception. It is what we focus on that defines our world view. Both positive and negative perceptions of the world are most likely distortions.

So, say the naturally optimistic, start focusing on the positive. I sarcastically (and figuratively) smack myself on the forehead and shout "Duh! Why didn't I think of that before?" and then kick one of those optimists in the shin.

Now, I realize that having a genetic disposition for being a grouch is no excuse for mental laziness. I realize that Ireallyshouldtrytolookonthebrightsideandseethesunnysideoflife and blah blah blah. Whatever. It is also important to recognize and accept oneself for how they truly are. I am not going to allow optimists to convince me that I am a bad person, and that they are better off for having a sunny disposition.

I say it again: Like Popeye, I yam what I yam. I'm a grouch, and I'm ok with that.