Sweatshirt vs. Suit Coat

I pulled into the parking lot at preschool this morning, rocking my stay-at-home-mom uniform. My sweatshirt, purchased 11 years ago in New Jersey, is bright orange. Hunter Safety Orange. Home Depot Orange. Doesn't really go with my new blond hair Orange. The best part about my sweatshirt is that it hides the paint stained, accidentally bleached in spots tee-shirt that is also something of a dinosaur. My super awesome sweatpants aren't a whole lot better, though they are at least from this millennium.

My "natural" makeup look is actually yesterday's mascara in a dusky gray ring around my eyes. I was able to salvage my hairstyle from yesterday by taking off my headband before it crumpled my bangs back enough so that they stick up like stork feathers.

While in the process of hauling my oldest daughter out of the car, I caught the eye of another Mom returning to her car after dropping off a child. This mom, sleekly styled in a business suit and sensible shoes, gave me a sad smile and a slightly envious head-to-the-side look. Wait, was that envy? Or pity? She hopped into a stylish Volvo and bopped away.

Envy? Or pity? I'm reviewing the tape in my head. There are parts of this mom-at-home business that are quite nice, I suppose. We only rush out of the house three days a week, not six. My nine month old sleeps in her crib almost exclusively, not having to be bothered with day care cribs. She doesn't have to fight for attention or share her toys. (My secret anxiety is that she also gets less focused care because I'm also trying to write lists, pay bills, shower, cook meals, etc.)

But there is a flip side. Talking to more than three adults in one day is remarkable. Hubs complains about meetings and emails, but I secretly think it might be fun to have other adults talking around you and have them be interested in your opinion. I miss the camaraderie of community counseling and (gasp) even miss going to class on occasion. Mom-on-the-go styling is not as easy as they make it look on What Not To Wear. You have to be prepared to let your clothes get apple-sauced, dog furred, or ketchuped. Makeup? Not quite as important as it used to be. And yes, I hear you, I know we're supposed to get fancied up and beautiful for our own sake, not for the sake of others, but...the secret is that it feels a bit pathetic to get all glammed up to wrangle the children.

Someone told me, a few days ago, to "Have a great Monday!". Is it Monday? Or Thursday? I told her that as a stay-at-home Mom, every day is Monday. There is no weekend. I said it with a smile, carefully keeping some of the bitterness out of my voice, but my stork hair and yesterday's mascara speak for themselves.

Still, I get to do things that the full-timers can't do. (Like write this out, for example, and ponder the different paths that one's life can take.) I can schedule doctor's appointments for the kids in the middle of the day without worrying about upsetting my boss. I can go to the grocery store during the off hours if I don't mind taking both twerps with me. I can clean the place during naptime if the spirit moves me.

So I don't know, honestly, if I'm to be envied or not. I guess there is good and bad to every situation. Before I get up on my high horse and think I've come up with something super deep and profound, I'd like to remind everyone that the Chinese summed up the whole concept of light and dark, balance and energy with a yin yang. So I'm not exactly treading new ground. But I do feel better about my slouchy outfit and lack of a shower, so that counts for something.