Every morning since the dawn of time, I have gotten up and watched the Today show with my cup of coffee. The anchors on the show have become a part of my extended family, even though they have no idea who I am.
This phenomenon is not without psychological merit, so all ye who are laughing at me can just knock it off. The human brain is theoretically not capable of distinguishing between people we see on TV every day and people we see in real life every day. In earlier days, survival depended on knowing what was happening in the tribe, so humans have developed a knack for watching other people and developing relationships. This quality is also partly responsible for our goofiness over celebrities and royal figures. The "leaders" of our tribe required extra attention to ensure our standing in the tribe. But I digress...
My friends Matt Lauer, Merideth Viera, Al Roker and Ann Curry and I sit down every morning to chat about the weather, current events, politics and how to choose a shade of lipstick that will compliment my skin tone during the winter months.
Recently, I have noticed a troubling undercurrent in the relationship between Matt and Merideth. It seems to me that Matt doesn't really like Merideth all that much, and can sometimes go so far as to be rude to her. Ever since she replaced Katie Couric a few years ago, Matt has been slightly contemptuous of her, but now it seems like their relationship is getting even more strained than it has been in the past.
Now, I realize that these people are professionals and Matt has certainly never said anything on air that would indicate that all is not well on the Today show set. There are very subtle cues, like a sideways glance that is almost an eye-roll, or an intro with one word drawn out, like "And now, baaaack to Merideth" that implies a secret 'yeah, and good luck with that'. Merideth appears to not notice any of this, though she does exude a bit of puppy-like energy that has a slight tail-wagging plea to be liked and accepted by the rest of the pack. It occasionally seems that Matt is responding to Merideth's eagerness be in the club by quietly reaffirming the fact that she isn't in the club.
This undercurrent is starting to affect the way I look at my dear friends. I'm getting angry with Matt, who is clearly just being mean, and feeling sad for Merideth, who just wants to be liked. I'm annoyed that Al and Ann haven't stepped in to make peace, or support Merideth against the titan of morning talk shows.
I realize that this whole thought process poses a few questions, like "How much time do you spend thinking about this stuff?" and "Seriously, have you ever had a life?" (Answers: Lots, and no.) This also raises the question about being sensitive, perhaps overly so, to the way people move around this world.
How do you know when someone is annoyed with you? When someone is secretly trying to tell you something? When does a random comment like "Wow, the trash cans are always empty at my Mom's house" from Husby really mean "I wish you were better at taking out the trash"? Or perhaps a casual remark about co-worker's weight loss really means "Wow, you've gained a lot of weight recently, hon."
Husby says that what he says NEVER means anything. He certainly never means to imply that I'm fat, a poor housekeeper, or a lousy cook. But I still say that we subconsiously communicate our true feelings to each other, and it is one of our jobs as members of society to dilligently decode those feelings.
As for Matt and Merideth, I'm thinking about writing them a letter so I can get some closure on this problem. They would write back, don't you think?
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