The only job you'll ever....nevermind.

Everyone has had a crap week at work, right? Everyone has that co-worker that interrupts you just as you start a project, won't stop talking during lunch, insists on having everything done their way and ignores all of your subtle social signals that say "I'm not interested in what you're saying...".

So, most people come home from work, kick off their shoes, open a nice cold Heineken and start planning a Beaches vacation to Ocho Rios. Maybe play some video games, go to Opening Day at Tiger's Stadium, take in a movie, go out for a cocktail with a buddy...or peacefully read a book that might be more insightful than the latest vampire novel because there might actually be enough gas left in the tank to comprehend something a smidge more complicated. Maybe microwave a Lean Cuisine or go for a walk.

What do you do when that most irritating co-worker is someone to whom you have personally given birth? Or taken a vow in front of God and everybody to love, honor, cherish and not tell to shutthehellupplease just this once? What if your co-worker didn't understand that just this one time, you'd like to go to the bathroom without an audience? What if your co-worker screeched, stomped a foot and flung herself on the floor because you'd had the temerity to fill her water cup to the tippy top instead of just to the regular top?

What if you were bound by state law and biological psychology to wipe your co-worker's butt, play circus penguin on the driveway, and praise every piece of artwork created by putting old address labels on a piece of construction paper?

Some people may complain that they feel like they live at the office. What do you do when you actually do live at the office? When you can't go home? When you are at work, and at home, all at the same time?

Well, if you're me, you daydream about camping in Utah, fitting into your old jeans, and doing the hippy jig dance at a dive bar in Colorado with a super cute carpenter that you met at a block party. (The fact that the super cute carpenter is now the father of the co-workers that are plaguing you is irrelevant in these daydreams.)

If you're me, you count going to the grocery store as "getting out of the house" and wonder if you've sacrificed your brain to those co-workers that are frustrating, adorable, amazing and infuriating. You hope that someday, you will find a hairstyle and sunglasses that make you look as stylish as the mom on Friday Night Lights. (And to be half as good at motherhood as she is, too.) You hope to get a pedicure for your rusty feet before summer and wonder why some moms have nice eyebrows...

And hope that tomorrow, you can go to the bathroom, just once, by yourself.